NO IFS, ANDS, OR BUTS

I’m really annoyed today. I had a conversation with someone that just made me think and keep thinking and it just kind of made me angry with the guy who’s putting her through this. Then again, I’m also really annoyed at myself for blaming him because we all know it takes two and if I told you the full story you would totally agree with me. I know it, she knows, he knows it, and we all know it. I just feel as though the situation was instigated and I know deep down she tried to walk away but in the end feelings came back and she rushed back for a moment she hoped would change something for the both of them… and she was wrong.

So there she is, regretting, and replaying the night in her head. Hating herself for not making the right choice. Every now and then as smart as we may be and as hard as we may try, we will get weak and we will get caught in a moment and maybe cross a line that we wish we hadn’t. We can’t blame ourselves forever though, we have to realize that what we had is broken, and picking up the pieces is going to hurt so why bother? Just walk away, leave it alone, move the fuck on. 

He knew how she felt. He knew how much she cared for him (maybe even less than what she really does). He knew she wasn’t the type and he knew that if he tried hard enough, she might just give in because of it. We miss people and we hope for glimpses into their lives, we hope that we’ll run into them by accident and that maybe this time things will be different and I feel like he knew all that and took advantage. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not blaming him entirely, I just feel as though he should have just let it be. But it didn’t go that way, and I don’t think he’s regretting anything but here she is, regretting. I’m proud she realizes that it was a mistake and realizes how easy it was for him to make her feel good for a little while, but what she’s feeling now is lingering for a little longer and it sucks!

I’m not exactly sure what to tell her at this point. Time will make it go away. I just think she needs to realize that it’s over. She deserves better. Things didn’t work out the first time for a reason and as much as she tells me he cares for her (which I’m not too sure about), if he does then he needs to grow up and figure his shit out. That doesn’t mean she should sit and wait for him though. In the meantime she needs to do what she can to move on to better things. Maybe they do belong together. Maybe in time things will work out for the best but for now, there’s no ifs, ands or buts. It is what it is, and right now that means its over. Nothing else.